how to be a filthy filthy english teacher

Wednesday, November 23, 2005


how to be a filthy filthy english teacher

so, i try to say a hungarian phrase each class, just to show how awful my pronunciation is and show students not to be scared of making mistakes in english. i asked a hungarian teacher how to ask 'do you like to dance in the snow?', because it's snowing outside and colder than you can even fucking imagine no matter how hard you try. the hungarian is 'szeretsz a hoban tancolni?'. the last word is said TAN SO KNEE, which means dancing. so i get to class and say the phrase, but i say the last word TON SO NI. i make eye contact with each student, nicely butchering the query four times. which i don't realize until i say the phrase afterwards to the hungarian teacher who taught it to me. i told her how they all looked at me funny (three women and a dude) and said i should only say that to women. i remember asking, "why, is it because it's like flirting?" the teacher blushed. why? because TON SO NI means fucking. i asked my students if they liked fucking in the snow. each. student. a 60 year old retired surgeon, two college students, and a thirty something newlywed. awesome. how i'm going to fix this tonight i don't know. eat some flesh, pick some bone.